“I
think I fell in love with Sam Decker the first time I met him,” said Anna. “I
don’t care how big a cliché that is; it’s true.
She
saw the deflation in Greg’s face and touched him gently. “Don’t worry love.
That’s the last emotion I would feel for him now.
“This
was seven years ago. I’d only just moved to London from Shropshire and I was
still in the starry-eye stage about living in the capital. It was the opposite
of Shrewsbury: heavy traffic, speed and bustle, people closed off but full of
energy and purpose. I loved it.
“Sam
was my first partner when I started with Tower Insurance. I’d worked for a
little company before. Part of my job back there was to investigate potentially
dodgy claims to see if there was any fraud going on but it was a minor part.
There wasn’t a lot of big-time insurance fraud going on in Shropshire, believe
it or not. Working for Tower, that became the whole of my job and I really
enjoyed it. Like being a private detective but with job security.
“My
first impression of Sam was that he was an old fashioned gentleman: polite,
complimentary, sincere. He was thirty; clean cut, polished shoes, pressed
trousers, waistcoat. He was clean shaven, his hair was slicked back, he wore
cufflinks and a very expensive watch; a tie pin. None of his clothes were off
the rack. Very neat, but it went deeper than first impressions. Everything
about him said patience and care. He had obviously worked very hard to create a
certain image and I responded to that. It didn’t hurt that he was good looking
too.
“Now
I’m only saying all this so you can get the complete picture, I don’t want to
hide anything from you, and it’s important to get the contrast between how he
appeared on the surface and what was underneath when I finally found out.
“I
worked with Sam for a year and a half. He taught me how to deal with clients
and witnesses, the best ways to set up surveillance or a tail, how to gather
evidence in such a way that it doesn’t break down in court. It was great; and
watching him work: that was amazing. Not a word came out of his lips that
wasn’t perfect. He never lost his temper, never lost control of a situation. If
he was questioning a client we suspected of falsifying a claim he knew exactly
how to apply slow careful pressure so as to catch them in a lie. And he was
athletic; no fat on him anywhere: sort of like a super investigator; a marvel
to watch.
“And
he was funny, really hilarious and gentle and thoughtful. He remembered
everything we talked about; could refer back to conversations we’d had months
before; not like some people, you know? He seemed to really care about what I told
him. I really liked coming in to work, and we socialised a lot outside of work
too, a lot of the time with Mike, the guy who became his partner after me and
his then girlfriend, Elaine.
“Slowly
I started to admit to myself that I was falling for him; big time.
“I
didn’t plan to, obviously. I didn’t want to. Everyone knows that office
romances are a bad idea, but I couldn’t help it. The reason it went on for so
long before we finally got together was because I was trying so hard to resist
his charms.
“We made the connection one night after we had
closed a case that saved the company an awful lot of money. It was high profile
and was going to get us a lot of nods in the hall from high up people. We felt
great. We stopped at his place because it was close and ate Chinese food we’d
picked up and before I had chance to remember I didn’t want to fool around with
a colleague we were kissing. Then we were in bed together.
Greg
shuffled uncomfortably again. Anna felt sorry that she was saying this but
didn’t stop to comfort him. She had to go on now that she had started.
“We
saw one another for about three months before he proposed and all that time he
still never put a foot wrong. He was charming and witty and he thought I was
beautiful. I was convinced I was in love. When he asked me to marry him I said
‘yes.’ He wanted it quick and quiet: just a couple of friends and my parents;
his sister Lucy. I went along with it. Everything was perfect.
“Then
two days before the wedding I asked him about his parents. I’d been under the
impression they were dead – he’d told me so – but when I met Lucy she made
reference to them still being alive so I asked him about it. I was sure I had
just misunderstood. It was a totally innocent question.
“But
he became distant. He closed up; the charm vanished; his face changed. I don’t
know how to describe it. It was like another man were looking out through his
eyes, a man I didn’t know. His responses became short and hostile. I wasn’t
trying to grill him but I was curious and he seemed to be hiding something. I
couldn’t help trying to probe further. Then all of a sudden he changed again,
becoming jovial, making out that he’d been joking, that I had misunderstood
after all. Yes, his parents were still alive but they were going to be out of
town when we were getting married and he didn’t see them very often anymore.
“It
was queer and definitely my first warning there was something nasty under his
surface, but like I said, he returned to normal, just as charming and kind as
ever. After knowing him for so long it didn’t give me a big enough reason to
doubt him.
“We
got married two days later and went on honeymoon.”
Anna
paused, smoothed her hair back from her brow then continued.
“Married
life was an extension of the romance before; but slowly I started to get
further glimpses into the man behind the façade that Sam perpetually held up.
“We
weren’t partners anymore by this time but I saw a lot of him in the evenings
and at weekends. The more time that passed, the more it started to seem as
though he were under strain: just little clues; moments of weakness. We might
have a tiff and the façade would drop again or he’d show a glimpse of himself
when he was angry at something else. The charm he had always had around me
diminished. It was still there around others or at work but the contrast I was getting
at home allowed me to see just how odd his social behaviour was, how false. Then
things like his attention to detail and efficiency started to grate with me. He
was falling out of favour, slowly but steadily, and things that attracted him
to me in the past started to become irritations. Calm and deliberate were
transformed into cold and uncaring.
“And
I started to tell him how I felt.
“At
first he seemed genuinely hurt by the things I’d said, as though he didn’t
recognise the changes that had come over him, but that inflamed me more because
they weren’t changes. I had realised that this was the real Sam that he had
only been hiding all along.
“Then
his responses became more aggressive. He still kept his emotions tightly
constrained but he didn’t hide the coldness anymore. He had the same blank
soulless expression when he looked at me as he did when he examined evidence or
catalogued files.
“I’d
seen enough. I told him I wanted him gone; he had to move out. I didn’t want to
see him again, ever. And he finally showed me exactly what he looked like under
the mask.
“He
hurt me. And then he… raped me. On our bed; like he had the right to. Then he
left.
“I
should have talked to the police but I didn’t. Right now I don’t have any clue
what made me hold off. I should have. I didn’t tell anybody until you today.
You’re the first person. But I did everything in my power to stop Sam working
for Tower. I told people what he was really like, that his entire personality
was an act, but his façade was too perfect.
“I
heard him talking to a couple of the secretaries about me one lunch time in the
staff room: nasty things he had invented about me. I heard him through the
wall. He was crying crocodile tears and they all believed him. Everyone believed
his side of the story. I got a reputation as a cold-hearted bitch around the
office. I came this close to losing my own job. I would have if I hadn’t
stopped saying bad things about him.
“It
wasn’t long after that I met you and we moved in together. I tried to put it
out of my mind. And being with you, and finally having Billy to raise, I
realised it didn’t matter about Sam Decker. I was going to be happy to spite
him.”
Greg
nodded solemnly.
“I
should have stopped working there,” said Anna, “found a new job. But I was
going to be damned before I let him chase me away. I stayed just to piss him
off; to let him know that at least one person knew what kind of sociopath he
really was.
“And
so he knew that when he finally messed up, I would be there to bring him down.”
